This is a story of a loving man, wonderful father, kind person, and gentle soul. It’s a story about tragedy, about pain, and about the unpredictability of people and of life. No one escapes their own reality, it’s how they face it that matters.
Sir Husband just received the official court papers allowing his scary Mrs. Ex to move their children far, far away with her. There are no words to describe how it feels to be alienated from your children. It’s heartbreaking for everyone, especially the children. They live a parallel life between their longing for their father and their obligation to their mother – innocent captives of the hidden realities of her tortured soul.
But let’s back up. A long time ago a man married a woman he did not love, out of friendly obligation. He did not listen to his intuition, or follow his heart, or walk his own path. And he tried to live the life he built for himself in spite of it. He tried to sustain an unhappy existence. But to live in misery out of obligation strangles the spirit. He searched for what his soul, all souls long for. Love. Truth. Peace. Joy.
So he untangled his unhappy heart, and with kindness, consideration, and truth, he left his marriage. But no one could have prepared for what happened next – an unleashing of Mrs. Ex’s private, hidden, personal demons so great, that survival seemed impossible. For all of us.
It’s indescribable to be the target of someone’s lies so much so that you are jettisoned from your own life. To be so psychologically abused and emotionally blackmailed that you become paralyzed. To watch children drown in the misery of a mother’s vendetta – cunning, deceitful, manipulative, and complex.
He held the crisp, white court papers in his hands, silent, and still. A tragedy for him and for others forced to re-work their lives from the hateful hands of another. I watch him try to endure the pain. It’s always there, just beneath the surface. He has not done anything wrong except love his children but not his ex-wife.
The children love their father and our family and are fully aware of what is going on. But they can’t do anything about it. They are not strong enough to speak up, and when they try, there are consequences. They are not allowed to disappoint their mother under any circumstances. They talk about it with us when they are able, which isn’t often.
You really cannot compete with or fix someone’s actions that seem so insane and incredibly unnecessary. The alternatives to fight it are devastating, on every level. So you get to the point that you just have to survive it. Loss. Hurt. Ongoing evil pointed in your direction is grueling. The struggle to keep viable, alive, functioning, and thriving after so much loss is real. Imagine how the children feel, it doesn’t feel right or comfortable. She won’t even let them visit.
So here we are.
His story…the one I watch and feel and live with him, now offers powerful teachings.
Stay energized around life no matter what… Keep moving in the direction of your dreams, and your soul’s deepest callings… Keep creating… Keep caring… Keep breathing.
Remind yourself every day to keep going, shut out the pain, and open up to peace. What we have lived is tragic. The children are alive, but their life with their father, and their step family, has been stolen.
We don’t always understand life. We can’t always fix it or control it. We can’t always fight someone else’s demons, even when they manifest against us.
Holding a piece of paper that changes the lives of a family forever, Sir Husband knows that she can take away the children, but she can never take away the love we share and have in our hearts – something she knows nothing about. Perhaps one day, she will.