Why don’t you write about me? Sir Husband asks occasionally.
“I’m not sure I’m ready. What would I say?” I always reply.
I don’t know, I guess you will know when you know.
Although he’s the love and light of my life, it isn’t often that I write about Sir Husband and his path or plight with the characters in his sordid tale. It’s easy for me to say he’s a sweet man, kind-hearted, a gentle soul, of course I say that, I love him, he is a knight to me, in this lifetime, and others.
He is also the most courageous man I know, surviving what many men might not. He has been and still is being judged, persecuted, and burned at the stake for just trying to be happy.
I share his words with hesitancy, because the situation is beyond comprehension. But it’s real and it’s vital. And it’s time.
People I have known all my life, who were close to me, even my own family, were so quick to drop me. I don’t understand how they could immediately, in seemingly one day, align with someone who went from saying how much she loved me to saying things so dreadful and drastic that lifelong friends and family would completely turn on me and literally shun me and outwardly persecute me. It makes no sense.
And how could anyone – especially my own family – ever support someone taking a good father’s children completely out of his life, and a good father out of the children’s lives? It just makes no sense. What incredible lies has she made up in her own mind and shared with others that they would actually believe and not only support but encourage to this day?
It’s been nearly seven years now. And it has not let up.
Sir Husband has no access to his children. He has been fully parentally alienated, even from his own family, in the true sense of the words. Not only have we done more than we could ever try to do to combat this dreadful situation, we are also more than done being hung on someone else’s crucifix.
I have written before about Scary Mrs. Ex and her unilateral decision – executed with what appears as her own twisted authority, power, money and blackmail – to completely remove Sir Husband’s children from his life, and mine. It’s hard to understand why someone would punish her children so much, when there is no other crime than a father not loving their mother and choosing a life of happiness and joy (he is entitled to by the laws of life,) that would and should include the kids.
But it goes way beyond that. To be a mother and a person who punishes with such vengeance that Sir Husband and I, and my very own children, would need protection, and to get away with all of it in a biased judicial system – where you can only defend yourself if you can afford it – is unfathomable. No one could possibly understand the difficulty of trying to cope with what feels like someone else’s lunacy, and seemingly being the head-on targets of their deep inner pain.
It’s so very easy to sit on the outside, reading, looking in and saying things like, “Why didn’t he do this, or that…Why doesn’t he just…But it makes no sense, I don’t understand.”
And that is correct. It makes no sense, and we don’t understand.
When we read or hear about other people’s personal tragedies with ex-spouses and with children and custody, we may think we know the answers. Or we may have a sense of detached disregard for their personal truths. All I can say is, we have no idea what is going on in other people’s lives, as much as we think we might know or believe.
That’s what it comes down to, belief. Who do you believe. And we can have our own opinions, but I say it again with conviction. We do not know anything about other people’s lives, until we have not only walked in someone else’s shoes, but been inside of their skin, their minds, their hearts. We have done more than we could ever try to do to combat this dreadful situation.
So enough talking about it. There are no answers but one.
A soul’s journey is not to be understood, but to be travelled. Our connections to other souls are only a part of that path. It is the connection to ourselves at the core, at the source, to our spirit and our true selves, that is to guide us with light, with hope, and with love.
We are that love, we just have to live it. No matter what.